People often commemorate the deaths of famous people. Today I write a tribute to a man who, while not famous, made me who I am.
It was twenty years ago today that my beloved father passed away. I can't believe that two decades have gone by and I'm still here, still functioning, still going through life's ups and downs, all without my "Stinky". He was my buddy, my advisor, my priest, and many times, my world. That morning, as I held his cold hands, I said prayers of thanksgiving that God took him and that he no longer suffered. However, my bratty alter ego was trying to figure out how life was to go on and that I wanted my Daddy back!!!
Fast forward twenty years. My world has totally changed since that day. Location, job, family, is vastly different. While I have a few minutes, and a few glasses of wine, I'd like to write a letter to him. Please indulge me as I use this forum for my therapy!
Dear Daddy Stinky,
Well, I hope you're happy. You spent all that time and effort trying to make me a productive member of society. And guess what? I think you succeeded! You now have grandsons who are much smarter than the two of us "dumbells" put together!! However, as they grow older, I am finding myself imparting wisdom that sounds eerily familiar:
-"If you don't have your health, you don't have anything!"
-Pay your bills on time. (They see me struggle with this every month!)
-Pray!!!! The Blessed Mother will hear you!
-If you have food on the table, clothes on your back and a roof over your head, you should thank God for all he has given you!
-Help when you can.
-Do your best.
-It's cheaper if you do it yourself, especially cooking! Why waste money when you can have a good meal at home?
-America's the greatest country on earth!
-Read the newspaper and watch the news.
These are just a few. I wish you could see those boys. They look like you sometimes (especially when making a "stinky" face), and act like you, especially when they are causing trouble! Your namesake will put on a little paper hat like the one you used to wear at Cappy's and the resemblance is amazing!!! The little one would eat you out of house and home, so I know you and Mom would have had him over every weekend! All in all, we are doing our best to raise them with the values you tried to give us. MGR is a wonderful husband and daddy, so don't you worry. He and I are a great team!! It scares me how much he acts like you, and he's not even a relation! Think of all the tricks you would play on Mom. 'Nuf said!
It's amazing how much fun those boys are. Spending time with them reminds me of all the fun we had: jamming in accordion / piano duets, working in the yard or on the plumbing ("Pinky get me a hammer!"), going for our weekly trip to the dump or the hardware store. The ice cream runs after Monday night Novena were great, as were the trips to Pierre's bakery after Mass. The Sunday afternoon barbeques as we listened to the Yankees games will never be forgotten.
The times and food were great, but the quality of time spent with you was even better. We discussed everything: religion, politics, neighborhood gossip, the lottery, etc. You gave me a perspective that I would not have recognized and wisdom and knowledge that I had not yet achieved. When facing a major decision, I always try to find your voice and hear your thoughts. Please be really loud the next few months, as lots of decisions may have to be made!!
Well Stinky, that's all for now. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, how much I still miss you and how much there is of you in the next generation! The boys ask questions about you and Mom all the time and when I answer, I get such a warm feeling inside. Little do they know how truly wonderful their Dziadek was. Give my love to Mommy (if she's talking to you this week) and I hope we will all reunite someday. In the meantime, would you please send us some winning lottery numbers?
Love always,
Basi Pinky
2 comments:
I knew what your post was going to be about just by looking at the title. I had to brace myself before reading it.
I wish I could include my tear drops in this comment box. You made me cry like a baby. It was a beautiful, touching, and (of course) funny tribute to your father.
We watched the Space Shuttle take off yesterday, and that made me think of your mom. Although we had a big dinner, too, so that may have triggered the memories.
I'm sure they are fighting and not talking to each other, and then, making up in Heaven. After all, you are supposed to be happy and content in the Promised Land.
And when he gets bored (if you can in Heaven), he just looks down and smiles at the trials and tribulations of the Rutherford clan. (There are many!!!!)
Thank you for sharing your post. It made my day.
I wasn't blessed to know your father too well. I think we met only 2 or 3 times, trekking out to the East End homestead. But I know him through your stories, your love, and the embodiment of his spirit in your two boys. Living, growing, learning his lessons, and keeping the MEAT industry alive and well!
You are a pillar of strength and wisdom, able to look at a loss that was far too tragic and far too soon and find peace in the wisdom you shared and the laughter you enjoyed.
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